Is there any thing more complicated than relationships? They are vital to life itself and contribute to the survival of the human species. I am noticing that as I become older, relationships aren't as easy for me to begin or maintain. My tendency is towards being an introvert so I have always had just a handful of really good friends. That is all I could handle because in my world, relationships must be deep. I don't do casual friendships or small talk very well. Now with aging and an energy level that is not up to youthful standards, my friend list has dwindled to about three. Of course, I have my family that I love and care for deeply. With the advent of grandchildren, those relationships have become more my focus.
I have a handful of friends that I see maybe once or twice a year. We mostly have history in common more than any thing current. There are a couple of friendships that I consider strained and almost feel like some thing I carry around that should be let go.
Romantic relationships are the most complicated of all. They start out full of promise and giddiness. Then you begin to add children, financial issues, fatigue, aging, sickness, etc, and things don't seem as rosy. It is at this point that you have to let go of what was and work with what is. When a couple can't shift and move on in growth together, that is when the deck of cards falls. When I consider how difficult it is to maintain a relationship, it seems amazing that so many do survive. In the past, couples were focused more on survival and children were necessary to help with that survival. Now we have moved past that and have more expectations. This adds to the difficulty of a relationship surviving when those expectations aren't met. It seems that you really don't know a person until you have lived with them, and I have found that to be totally true.
At this stage, I am happy with my small list of friends and my wonderful family. I want to invest my time and energy in what I have instead of going out into the world looking for new friends. I just don't feel like I need them. It's great to have reached a stage where I can say that is okay and embrace the introvert that I am!
Thought for the day: Relationship is an art. The dream that two people create is more difficult to master than one. ~Don Miguel Ruiz
Sunday, February 15, 2015
Gratitude
There has been quite a bit written lately about the importance of gratitude. If you deliberately attempt to embrace gratitude on a daily basis, it is supposed to promote happiness. Instead of making any resolutions when the calendar turned to 2015, I decided to have a gratitude jar. There are also gratitude journals in which you list up to five things every day for which you are grateful. I decided it would be good to see the jar as I go about my day so it would jog my thoughts of gratitude.
I must admit that some days it can be difficult to come up with a concrete thing to add to the jar; especially on cold winter days. If you can't come up with some thing new, there is always health, family and life itself.
Thought for the day: Gratitude is not the only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others. Cicero
I must admit that some days it can be difficult to come up with a concrete thing to add to the jar; especially on cold winter days. If you can't come up with some thing new, there is always health, family and life itself.
Thought for the day: Gratitude is not the only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others. Cicero
Saturday, February 14, 2015
Cemeteries
Some people may think it strange or morbid, but I enjoy walking through cemeteries. First of all, they are peaceful and quiet. Finding a place with those qualities these days can be difficult. Secondly, I feel a connection to the past as I read all the names of those no longer among the living. Even if I don't know the names, it's intriguing to put together a story of what may have happened. As you pass old markers etched with the names of babies and young children, you begin to clearly see how extremely fragile life was before the advent of antibiotics and modern medicine.
There was a cemetery within walking distance of the farm where I grew up, and many times over the years I would wander through the graveyard. This past summer when I was in the area, I stopped there and took photos of particular gravestones that had caught my interest in the past. The passing of time was shown by how many more familiar names I now saw as I passed the graves of the people who held an important place in my formative years.
This gravestone was one that has held my interest for many years. It is a simple statement made by a family that apparently had few resources. Despite that, it is evident there was love.
OLE AND OLENA LUND
The second stone that I always visited when I strolled through the cemetery was one that came with a story. The postmaster and his wife married later in life, and they had one child. She was a daughter who was named Lillie. When she was 14, she died after riding her bike on a hot summer day. Apparently, she was extremely hot and drank quite a bit of very cold water. As you could imagine, this was devastating for this couple. They closed the door to her bedroom and left it as it was.
On several of our trips, we have stopped at cemeteries. On the East coast, the dates of death were often in the early 1800s or even late 1700s. Of course, one of my favorites was Henry David Thoreau and Louise Mae Alcott. The most famous one we visited was Pere Lachaise in Paris. There we saw small houses built for the dead with magnificent sculptures and artwork.
So that is my story about why you can often find me wandering around amongst the headstones.
Thought for the day: The only real equality is in the cemetery. German proverb
There was a cemetery within walking distance of the farm where I grew up, and many times over the years I would wander through the graveyard. This past summer when I was in the area, I stopped there and took photos of particular gravestones that had caught my interest in the past. The passing of time was shown by how many more familiar names I now saw as I passed the graves of the people who held an important place in my formative years.
This gravestone was one that has held my interest for many years. It is a simple statement made by a family that apparently had few resources. Despite that, it is evident there was love.
OLE AND OLENA LUND
The second stone that I always visited when I strolled through the cemetery was one that came with a story. The postmaster and his wife married later in life, and they had one child. She was a daughter who was named Lillie. When she was 14, she died after riding her bike on a hot summer day. Apparently, she was extremely hot and drank quite a bit of very cold water. As you could imagine, this was devastating for this couple. They closed the door to her bedroom and left it as it was.
On several of our trips, we have stopped at cemeteries. On the East coast, the dates of death were often in the early 1800s or even late 1700s. Of course, one of my favorites was Henry David Thoreau and Louise Mae Alcott. The most famous one we visited was Pere Lachaise in Paris. There we saw small houses built for the dead with magnificent sculptures and artwork.
So that is my story about why you can often find me wandering around amongst the headstones.
Thought for the day: The only real equality is in the cemetery. German proverb
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