Last week I posted just a simple sentence that my blog was on hold due to lack of confidence. It was meant to be sort of a joke. I was surprised when two of my daughters seemed upset that I wouldn't be blogging any longer. It made me feel like what I am saying and doing is actually worthwhile. Therefore, my confidence has been once again boosted.
I am back from another week helping with the care of my grandchildren in Brainerd, MN. This is my first week since quitting my job two months ago that I will actually be home all week. This morning was spent decluttering and organizing "stuff" that was moved from our home in Minnesota. We have been here almost a year, and it's about time to get that done.
One of the things I have pondered that has made me find confidence again is that this is a journey; not an instant dream come true. The Thoreau quote states go confidently in the direction of your dreams. I realized that is exactly what I am doing. Not every thing will fall into place exactly the way I intend, but I have to hold on to confidence despite any setbacks. If I take a couple steps backwards, it is okay. The point is to keep going.
Part of my journey is learning to embrace who I am which includes my beliefs and disbeliefs.
Our book club recently read Cutting For Stone which contains some lovely thoughts and ideas. The one that stood out for me was this: The key to your happiness is to own your own slippers, own who you are, own how you look, own your family, own the talents you have, and own the ones you don't. If you keep saying your slippers aren't yours, then you'll die searching, you'll die bitter, always feelings you were promised more. Not only our actions, but also our omissions, become our destiny.
So at this point in my life I am trying to "own my own slippers" which can be a constant struggle if we allow ourselves to be swayed and influenced by the big world out there.
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