And The Dream Goes On

Today marks one month since leaving the workplace. I haven't been bored for one moment and also haven't had one full week at home yet. Been traveling Grandma and was able to return to hometown for book club.

While in Alexandria, I felt a need to visit my roots. Drove the back roads of the area where I grew up and visited two cemeteries. The first was where my parents and several family members are buried, and the second has a few family members but mostly just familiar names that were part of my past. The images of my childhood were vivid as I put faces with the names and remembered the parts they played. The graveyard encompasses an old country church that didn't have running water when I first used to visit it. I can remember the Ladies Aid raising funds in order to have a "modern" kitchen and real bathrooms added, and this was in the 1970s.

At that time I seemed to be the only young person that stuck around, and the older ladies really appreciated me. I used to play the piano for some occasions and rarely did a piano solo for a meeting. Seems like a popular tune I used to do was "In The Garden".

Yesterday I gave myself permission to not only take two naps but to stay in bed for an extra couple hours in order to finish reading a book. It seems I find myself having inner discussions in regard to how much there is to be done and convincing myself there will be time to do it.

Here is a quote from the book that I found most true when it comes to forgiveness and letting go: "But it's not that easy." "Oh, but my treasure, it is so much less exhausting. You only have to forgive once. To resent, you have to do it all day, every day. You have to keep remembering all the bad things." "I would have to make a list, a very, very long list and make sure I hated the people on it the right amount. That I did a very proper job of hating, too: Very Teutonic! No, we always have a choice."

What Did I Learn? I choose to remember the good in life, the good in people. We all have made unwise choices and decisions, we all have shortfalls and weaknesses. But we all have strengths, as well. It's all part of our journey and lays the way for our dreams.

Home Again Home Again Jiggity Jig

I have completed my first week in Minnesota tending to grandchildren and hopefully giving my daughter a small break from the difficulty of raising a 23 month old and a 4 month old.

Before I left town, I made sure my husband had food, a menu and a couple checklists for the morning and evening. Our black lab, Maxine, accompanied me as my husband was going to be out of town for the weekend. Maxine does not like to ride in cars; she is not a typical dog in that way. She stands at attention in the front seat for the entire trip, panting the whole time.

On my way, I stopped to visit my daughter, Olivia and granddaughter, Aria. We had lunch together, took a short walk and visited awhile. It also gave Maxine a short break from the car.

I arrived in Brainerd in time for dinner and spent some time with the kiddos. The next morning I began learning the daily routine. Ethan is refusing to take a bottle so we were hoping to remedy that while I was there, but no go. It is causing a bit of stress because Momma has to go back to work soon. Aubree was 90% sweet and 10% acting her approaching two year old status.

Overall, it was a wonderful experience. It was nice to be able to connect with Ethan and learn his personality and be BaBa to Aubree. When I return next month, perhaps Ethan will be loving that bottle??!

We had the awesome opportunity to see a Barnstormers Tour at the Brainerd Airport, and my daughter and son-in-law took a ride in an open cockpit biplane. It was a once in a lifetime experience. BaBa was left on the ground to assure Aubree that her parents would be returning because she freaked out. She loved the airplanes but not when the occupants were Mommy and Daddy. BaBa sort of enjoyed the Clark Gable look alike pilot.

Renter update: We received a check, however, it was half the amount of the monthly rent because he thought we should collect the other half from the jilted lover who was also on the lease. Well, when I am pursuing a dream, don't get in my way! I contacted him with the news that that was his issue, not ours, so he should collect from her. He was told that if a check for the balance did not arrive in a certain amount of time, we would find some one who could honor the lease, and the house would be back on the market pronto. He responded that a check would be coming so the drama continues. I am considering it my new part time job to keep Mr. Renter on his toes.

What did I learn today?

Most barnstorming shows followed a typical pattern. On any
given day, a pilot, or team of pilots, would fly over a small rural town and
attract the attention of the local inhabitants. The pilot or team of aviators
would then land at a local farm (hence the name "barnstorming") and negotiate
with the farmer for the use of one of his fields as a temporary runway from
which to stage an air show and offer airplane rides to customers. After
obtaining a base of operation, the pilot or group of aviators would fly back
over the town, or "buzz" the village, and drop handbills offering airplane rides
for a small fee, usually from one to five dollars. The advertisements would also
tout the daring feats of aerial daredevilry that would be offered. Crowds would
then follow the airplane, or pack of planes, to the field and purchase tickets
for joy rides. The locals, most of whom had never seen an airplane up close,
were thrilled with the experience. For many rural towns, the appearance of a
barnstormer or an aerial troop on the horizon was akin to declaring a national
holiday; almost everything in the town would shut down at the spur of the moment
so that people could purchase plane rides and watch the show.

Confidence Shaken; Not Destroyed

Just a bit of background on how we ended up living in Wisconsin and having two homes. My husband worked for the BNSF Railroad for 17 years and then about 2 1/2 years ago; he lost the job. It was a union job so the wages and benefits were substantial. After being unemployed for 1 1/2 years, he obtained a new railroad job that was non union but did get him back into the railroad retirement system. It is a Minnesota based company that has a Northern WI line so about a year ago, he began working for them out of Chippewa Falls. He would work there all week and come home on weekends. Ultimately, I had a gut feeling that this was no way to live and since my children were grown, and my parents were no longer living, we didn't belong in Alexandria any more. We put our Alexandria home up for sale and bought a house in Wisconsin and moved here in November 2011. In June of this year we rented our Alexandria home which gave us some financial breathing room; a lease was signed until the end of 2012.

This past Friday I decided to contact the lady living in the house because the August rent check had not arrived. She responded by stating in her e-mail: "He threw me out in July so he could move in his pregnant girlfriend, so contact him." This may not seem so unusual except for the fact that she had lived in Arizona her entire life, and he moved her here (and all her stuff) in June. They were engaged and planned a Hawaiian wedding. I stopped there early July to get more of our things, and nothing seemed amiss at that time. So to get this news along with the fact that no rent check has been received was very unnerving. It really shook my confidence in humanity and made me briefly question my recent decision to follow my dreams.

We will deal further with it this coming week, but in the meantime I am feeling more grounded again and intend to continue on my path and not let this type of person have power over me.

He has caused enough damage to this poor woman and who knows how much damage he will cause the current woman; I do not need to be included in his toll.

What I learned today: It is nothing from history or philosophy; it is that there are many unhealthy people in this world. Alot of things are not what they seem.

Day Two

Yesterday I took two naps and just enjoyed the fact that I didn't have to do it all in one day because I had lots more days!

Today I did yoga, tried Pilates and took a nap. Then I switched our cell phone plan to one that will ultimately be $60 less a month. There were some up front costs, but in the long run it should be better. Tonight I decided to try a new meal, and it was a big hit. It was stir fry beef and pea pods. I added some bean sprouts as well and made homemade egg rolls. It was so lovely to take my time and enjoy every step rather than feeling rushed and exhausted. If I had worked my regular day, I would not have been home until 6:30 p.m. I was able to take a walk this evening with my husband and dog, Maxine.

Tomorrow I hope to stay home and get started on some cleaning and organizing projects.

What I learned today: John Wilkes Booth, the man who shot Abraham Lincoln, was the son of the most famous actor in America at the time. John was also an actor but not as successful. He was born in the North but due to spending a great deal of time in the South while acting, he became a sympathizer for the South. When Lincoln was re-elected for a second term, he felt that all was lost so he hatched a plan. Presidents had no protection at that time and often went out on their own. When he planned a night at the theatre, Booth had no problem gaining access to his theatre box. Lincoln was carried across the street to a boarding house where he died a few hours later. Booth hid for several days but was ultimately caught and shot to death. His last words were: " tell my mother I died for my country". Lincoln's body was taken cross country by train with stops in Philadelphia and New York before the final destination of Illinois. His wife, Mary, was too distraught to even accompany the body or attend the ceremony. His son, Willie, who had died earlier was disinterred and he was also on the train and was buried along with Lincoln.

And so it begins

Today is my first day away from the workplace as I attempt to move in the direction of my dreams. My blog title is taken from a Henry David Thoreau quote which has given me the confidence to try some thing new in an effort to find happiness. I am very intrigued with Thoreau, Emerson and the Alcotts. We made an East Coast trip a couple years ago and visited Walden Pond (my cover photo), Emerson and Alcott homes and their grave sites.

My goal is to stay away from a real job for at least one year. If it works well, I sincerely hope to never have to go back to a regular job. I am now 53 years old and fully realize the fragility of life and how quickly it can change or be gone. Therefore, I want to live the life that most fits my desires and one that will bring me the most fulfillment.

I find myself feeling truly alive when I am working around the house, cooking, tidying, gardening, reading and napping. So this is what I want to do with my life along with spending quality time with my family. I plan to cut expenses wherever possible and make it part of my job to simplify and make do. I will use my time to be creative in that manner. I also plan to spend one week a month in Brainerd MN helping my daughter and son-in-law with their two children and housework.

I hope to learn new things and will share them on my blog. Below is a list of my goals:

1. Do yoga

2. Walk

3. Read

4. Meditate

5. Rest

6. Clean

7. Organize

8. Enjoy nature

9. Love and Nurture

10. Breathe

Please join me on this journey and hopefully I can encourage more people to follow their dreams.

What I learned today: The game of croquet in its current form seems to have arrived on the scene in the 1860s. It is based on the games of chess and pool; there are currently around 200 croquet clubs in the United States.