The Acceptance of Aging

This May marked my 55th year in this battle called life.  When I was a teenager,  I couldn't conceive of being thirty.   Now if I see some one has passed away at eighty, I think it was too soon.  Our concepts most definitely change about age.

This summer while wearing shorts, tank tops and going barefoot, I began to notice that my legs and feet were starting to remind me of my dad.  The skin seems to be thinning, and there are the same small white spots he had on the top of his feet.  I am also reminded of my aunts Phyllis and Elna when I see my bunions increasing in size.  The skin on my arms is beginning to look like the ladies from church that played a huge part in my formative years.  Below is a card my niece sent me for my birthday.  Notice the arms but don't ignore the joy!

One somewhat painful experience occurred when I rode my bike to the river to read and cool off.  When I arrived, there were two young men fishing with their music blaring.  I sat down a few feet away from them, and at no point was there any acknowledgement from them that I was even there.  There was no looking over, no saying hello and no attempt to tone down the music.  They also were using foul language almost continuously.  It became clear to me that I was invisible.  If I had been young and beautiful, it would have been a totally different outcome.  So at that moment, it was crystal clear to me that I was no longer what humans consider "young".  It was an eye opening experience for me which caused a few tears.

While spending time with Melody this summer, she was gently and lovingly touching my arms and commented that I had "old lady" skin.  Kids can tell you stuff like that, and it's okay.  It's a good feeling to begin to accept who you are and what stage of life you are in.  We are only young for a short time, and trying to pretend we are young is not a good scenario.  

There is a certain freedom in accepting your age and just being thankful that you are alive, healthy and loved.  It's great being a grandmother and seeing the look of delight spread over the faces of your grandchildren when you arrive for a visit.  It's great watching your children reach goals, be good parents and above all, be kind people.  It's good to look back on all the moments of your life and be able to say that even though you made some mistakes, overall you have been a good person.  

One of the fun things I did for my birthday was bowling with Tahnee, Ethan and Aubree.  A couple weeks ago Melody drew a portrait of me which I think is beautiful and ageless.

Thought for the day:  As we grow older, the beauty steals inward.  Ralph Waldo Emerson

Summer, Where Art Thou?

Yes, been a long time again since I have made the time to sit and get some blogging done.  In the meantime, summer has gone away, and now we are plodding through October on that slippery slope to winter once again.
It was a fun and busy summer so I guess that gives me some kind of excuse for not writing.
Here are a few things that happened:

 Brian and I took a bike ride along the Red Cedar trail and stopped to refresh ourselves in the river.

Spent the weekend at a cabin near Pelican Rapids MN with my family.  The grandkids sure liked that sweet corn!

Aubree spent her first week away from home at our house.  She was here for a week.  We had a good time, and ice cream was abundant!  The ride back home was long and hot, but we made it.  We read Cat in the Hat a few times and watched the cartoon so this is how we greeted Mom and Ethan.

I made a few batches of spaghetti sauce and tomato soup and built a fence.

I got to go grocery shopping with Aria and spend time with her at the water park.  We also celebrated her 2nd birthday and spent time at Lacey and Jonathan's pool.  As you can see in the photo, Ethan was all set to go swimming.

So that sums up the summer of 2014 and now life rushes onward as we approach 2015.  I do wish it would slow down a bit, but chances are that is not going to happen!

Thought for the day:  Summer’s lease hath all too short a date.” ― William Shakespeare

My Melody

With school out for the year, I was blessed with a visit from Melody.  There are special things we do when she visits such as playing Go Fish, hiding the trolls, watching movies, visiting the Dollar Store and going to the library.
Generally, she hides the trolls and asks Brian to find them.  She also helped me set up my fairy garden and hid the fairy for Brian to find.  She had to go home before he got home from work so he had to find the trolls and fairy without her.

We had a wonderful time together.  She can now ride her bike without training wheels so we rode to the park and library.  It's fun to watch her pick out books as she puts much thought into it.  She acquires a stack and then goes through them again before deciding which ones are coming home with us.  She always asks me who my favorite grandchild is.  I love them all so that's a tough one.  I told her that she is special because she was my first.

Our only downfall was when it was time to practice her piano.  It was the last week of lessons for the year, and she was given instructions to practice and not be dramatic about it.  Well, she sat down at the piano with good intentions but soon the drama began.  She wanted me to help, but I didn't do it quite right and then she felt like I was too annoyed.  So she asked me to leave the room.  I heard her play and then suddenly it stopped.  When I went to check on things, she was curled up on the floor crying.  She told me she hated piano and wanted to quit and that she was no good at it.  So we discussed that, and she tried again to no avail. She gave me a note that said "Baba, you need to hate me."   Finally she went upstairs and packed her stuff and planned to go home.  I took her on my lap and told her that some times we have to do things in life we don't want to do.  By this time we were both crying because I realized she was well on her way to finding out life can be cruel.  I wanted to keep her my little grandchild.  We got through it and all was well again.  However, I didn't ask her to practice the next day because I just didn't have it in me.  I will leave that to the parents.


I love having Melody come visit and hope she doesn't grow up so quickly that she doesn't want to come any longer.  Baba loves her so much.

Thought for the day:  A child can ask questions that a wise man cannot answer.  Unknown

In The Throes of Summer

Ah, Summer is here!!  Yes, even though a few weeks ago it seemed as if winter's grip would never let go, we are now in the wonderful arms of summertime.  

The gardens are growing and flowers blooming.  The hummingbirds, orioles and blue jays grace the backyard.  The wondrous smell of newly mown grass and freshly cut alfalfa fill the air.  The brutal side of the season has visited us recently with the loss of trees and electricity.  We still welcome summer and all that comes with it.

We were able to pick strawberries last week and gathered 20 pounds between the two of us.  I froze several bags and made a strawberry pie.  Yummy.

I have become a watcher of the weather in order to decide when to wash my clothes and have hung them out for several weeks now.  I have not used my clothes dryer at all.  Yesterday was the first time the rain surprised me, and my clothes were washed all over again.  I found the perfect basket for holding clothespins, and I have become quite proficient at hanging my clothing.  It makes me think of the ladies in the 1940s and 1950s who had a bit of a contest to see who could get their wash on the line first.

When it gets hot and humid, I like to go down to the river and take a dip.  Last week was the first time I went this year.  Normally I go with Brian, but he has been working long hours and our time together is rare.  So I convinced myself it was alright to go there by myself as long as I stay right by the shore. My self talk also consisted of reminding myself how difficult the long winter was and how much I deserved that trip to the river.  The water level is so high that jumping in by the shore is plenty deep.  So I have ventured there about three times now, and it is the most amazing feeling.  The water is just perfect for cooling your core and helping you get through the heat but not so cold that you can't handle it.  I feel like a new person when I get out.

So I am embracing summer and loving it very much.  I am trying to live in the moment and not think about how quickly it will be gone.

Thought for the day:  If a June night could talk, it would probably boast it invented romance.   Bern Williams

Back From Outer Space

Yes, I am back.  I am not totally sure why it has been so long since my last blog entry.  I could come up with any number of excuses, I suppose.  It is summer finally after a long brutal winter.  My husband has had some major changes in his job schedule.  I turned 55 in May (less energy?)  I was busy planning a family reunion. The truth of the matter is that I just didn't feel inspired to write.  Certainly don't want to feel like blogging is just another thing to do; I want it to be enjoyable.

So today is July 1st, and I finally feel like it is time. Some times we put things off and tell ourselves that tomorrow is another day.  We will see if my inspiration is short lived or if I will be a regular blogger again.

Thought for the day:  How soon not now becomes never.  Martin Luther

Tiny Visitor

About three weeks ago, my daughter took a trip to Guatemala so we had our almost two year old granddaughter, Aria, for a few days.  I picked her up on my way home from Brainerd where I had been taking care of  Aubree and Ethan.  She was a bit unsure about leaving Dada behind, but once we were in the car all was well.  I got her safely to our home, and she spent the next four days herding our dog, Maxine and our cat, Henry.  She called them woof woof and meow meow.  It was important that we all be in the same space.  

Aria enjoyed playing with Baba's toys and potatoes.  It was fun to watch her play with the blocks that my parents bought for my girls when they were young.  She also found their old puzzles and my globe.  

Brian and I found an rocking horse alongside the road a couple years ago that was free.  We decided not to pass it up as the grandchildren might like it.  She was shy about it at first, but once she got the hang of it, she loved it.

I was a bit concerned about making sure she ate enough so I tried to offer what she might like.  Actually I felt like she ate quite well, and I kept it pretty healthy.

She absolutely loved the animals, and I know she loves Baba. She loves Grandpa, too, but is a bit shy with him.  He can be overwhelming.  One night she stood by my side when I was cooking and grabbed my hand.  She said, "See" and pulled me to the computer room where Grandpa was sitting.  Pretty cute.  So overall, it was a successful stay.  There was some difficulty with getting her to sleep so I made an executive decision to sleep with her in the spare bedroom.  My sleep was essential to being able to keep up with her for four days.
She didn't ask for Mama or Dada, but the last day she did find their photo and laid down with it.

I feel blessed to not be working at this time which allows me the time and freedom to spend time with my beautiful grandchildren.  They grow so quickly, and I don't want to miss these precious moments.

Thought for the day:  I love these little people, and it is not a slight thing when they,  who are so fresh from God, love us.  Charles Dickens, The Old Curiosity Shop

Call of the Wild

Our previously wild cat, Henry, has been living in our home now for six months.
About a month ago, I noticed him at the patio door looking out with interest.  Before long, he was standing up and peering out and then started pounding on the door.

So I decided to let him out because I did not want him to feel like a caged animal and be unhappy.  He would go out for a few minutes and then pound on the door to get back in.  As time has gone on, and spring seems to finally have arrived, he has been outside for up to three hours.  He always comes back which makes me happy.  Normally he comes in wet or dragging leaves and pine needles on his thick fur.  One morning I saw him take off and head hurriedly across Hwy 40 which runs in front of our home.  This is a very busy highway so now I only let him out the back hoping he will forget about what lies on the other side.

It seems that even though he is well fed, warm and very much loved, he cannot ignore the call of the wild.  At least he won't be making any little kitties while he is out and about.  

I can't really explain why I love this creature so very much.  It must be a combination of the throwback to my childhood of having tamed a wild cat plus his appearance in my world shortly after losing my sister.  He gave me focus at a time when I needed it.  Today I told him I love him to the moon and back!

Thought for the day:  Who can believe that there is no soul behind those luminous eyes!  Theophile Gautier