Cemeteries

Some people may think it strange or morbid, but I enjoy walking through cemeteries.  First of all, they are peaceful and quiet.  Finding a place with those qualities these days can be difficult.  Secondly, I feel a connection to the past as I read all the names of those no longer among the living.  Even if I don't know the names, it's intriguing to put together a story of what may have happened.  As you pass old markers etched with the names of babies and young children,  you begin to clearly see how extremely fragile life was before the advent of antibiotics and modern medicine.

There was a cemetery within walking distance of the farm where I grew up, and many times over the years I would wander through the graveyard.  This past summer when I was in the area, I stopped there and took photos of particular gravestones that had caught my interest in the past.  The passing of time was shown by how many more familiar names I now saw as I passed the graves of the people who held an important place in my formative years.

This gravestone was one that has held my interest for many years.  It is a simple statement made by a family that apparently had few resources.  Despite that, it is evident there was love.

                                         OLE AND OLENA LUND

The second stone that I always visited when I strolled through the cemetery was one that came with a story.   The postmaster and his wife married later in life, and they had one child.  She was a daughter who was named Lillie.  When she was 14, she died after riding her bike on a hot summer day.  Apparently, she was extremely hot and drank quite a bit of very cold water.  As you could imagine, this was devastating for this couple.  They closed the door to her bedroom and left it as it was.  

On several of our trips, we have stopped at cemeteries.  On the East coast, the dates of death were often in the early 1800s or even late 1700s.  Of course, one of my favorites was Henry David Thoreau and Louise Mae Alcott.  The most famous one we visited was Pere Lachaise  in Paris.   There we saw small houses built for the dead with magnificent sculptures and artwork.  

So that is my story about why you can often find me wandering around amongst the headstones.

Thought for the day:  The only real equality is in the cemetery.  German proverb

The Ordinary

I have two books that address the idea of finding joy in simplicity and embracing the ordinary.  This concept takes many forms such as minimalism, Buddhism, Native American beliefs, the Shakers, etc.  
While I am not Buddhist, Native American or a Shaker, I do find peace in minimalism.  I find that when my space is cluttered, my mind is cluttered.  I do admit that I can take it to an extreme at times, for instance, I keep my e-mail inbox to about 5-10, and I get "nervous" when my DVR is less than 75% free.  

I realize that as a child growing up on a farm in the 1960s, generally my life was one of simplicity and few material belongings.  A couple of my favorite things to do were hanging out in the hay shed taming wild cats and sitting by the very small creek in the field watching the water ripple over the rocks.  We only had one television channel, and the only movie I saw during my childhood was Snow White.

As I grew up and became a wife and mother, it seems I left behind some of those ideals.  Now as I approach old age and seem to be searching for my authentic self, I once again find solace in simplicity and quiet. Maybe that is how the cycle of life works; we eventually come back to ourselves.   I limit my television watching to a about five channels and leave the other 150 alone.  I hang my clothes outside in the summertime and on racks in the basement during the winter.  I find joy in chirping birds, acrobatic squirrels and the miracle of flowers that return every year.  

All goes back to the earth,

and so I do not desire

pride of excess or power,

but the contentments made

by men who have had little:

the fisherman’s silence

receiving the river’s grace,

the gardener’s musing on rows....

~Wendell Berry, "The Want of Peace"

 I remember when my mother passed away and I was going through her jewelry box and dresser drawers, it became apparent to me that she was a simple person.  It was then I realized where my love of simplicity derived, and it touched me deeply.  

Some times being your authentic self isn't always approved by others; society wants you to fit a mold. Every day we are bombarded with extraordinary stories and images of celebrity.  We are made to feel like we don't measure up, and we are just ordinary.  However, I have found that true happiness comes from finding out who you are and being that person.  I believe that the true nirvana to be reached in this life is happiness in whatever form that resonates with you.



Thought for the day:  To find the universal elements enough; to find the air and the water exhilarating; to be refreshed by a morning walk or an evening saunter... to be thrilled by the stars at night; to be elated over a bird’s nest or a wildflower in spring — these are some of the rewards of the simple life. ~John Burroughs

Do You Believe in Fairies?

On a couple of occasions when I have been out of town for a few days, I will return to empty ice cube trays.  My husband has stated that the "ice cube fairy" must have been out of town.  Well, as I pondered this concept, it occurred to me there must be quite a few fairies living in our home.

Here are a few examples:

ice cube fairy

cooking fairy

dishwashing fairy

shopping fairy

cleaning fairy

bill paying fairy

laundry fairy

paperwork fairy


Here's a shout out to the all the fairies of the world and those who live in the shadows but keep the world turning.  Guess I better don my wings and get started on dinner!


Thought for the day:  The fairies went from the world, dear, because men's hearts grew cold.  And only the eyes of children see what is hidden from the old.
Kathleen Foyle

The Art of Illusion

Have you ever thought about how much illusion surrounds us?  Perhaps it comes with aging and wisdom, but recently I have become acutely aware of illusions.  There is an art to illusion but also a large monetary component, and of course, the more technologically advanced we become, the more sophisticated illusion can become.

Here are a few examples of illusions:

President Franklin D. Roosevelt was unable to walk unassisted, but the general population had no idea this was the case.

President John F. Kennedy was in pain most of the time from a war injury and also suffered from Addison's Disease.  The public was not aware of this and in fact, he projected himself as extremely healthy and vigorous.  He also was a great womanizer but yet when we think of he and his family, the picture is that of a beautiful, perfect family.

The majority of photographs portray us as smiling and happy when often we are unhappy and suffering from innumerable issues.  

Television, movies and magazines lead you to believe that there is always a happy ending and that you can be young forever.  Airbrushing and digital technology can transform imperfect beings into perfection which leaves the general population wondering what is wrong with them.

Then there is dating.  Does this really set us up for real life?  How often are we dressed up, smell great and are on our best behavior?  

How many times have we heard stories about abuse, murder, or suicide occurring in families that looked perfect from the outside?

Of course, there have always been magicians and illusionists that make us wonder how do they do these things?

Let's not forget all our "reality shows"  which are set up to appear like real people doing ordinary stuff.  How many of us could act real if the cameras were rolling?



I am not trying to be a pessimist or throw stones at every thing; it's just that my eyes have been opened up which leads me to question what we consider as normal.  Wouldn't it be nice if we could just accept ourselves for who we are and not be sucked into the world of the advertising moguls who want you to believe the illusion and buy the product that will provide the solution?
It seems to me there would be much less unhappiness and low self esteem and much more gratitude and contentment.  Just the thoughts of an aging person.

Thought for the day:  Illusion is the first of all pleasures.  Oscar Wilde

The Acceptance of Aging

This May marked my 55th year in this battle called life.  When I was a teenager,  I couldn't conceive of being thirty.   Now if I see some one has passed away at eighty, I think it was too soon.  Our concepts most definitely change about age.

This summer while wearing shorts, tank tops and going barefoot, I began to notice that my legs and feet were starting to remind me of my dad.  The skin seems to be thinning, and there are the same small white spots he had on the top of his feet.  I am also reminded of my aunts Phyllis and Elna when I see my bunions increasing in size.  The skin on my arms is beginning to look like the ladies from church that played a huge part in my formative years.  Below is a card my niece sent me for my birthday.  Notice the arms but don't ignore the joy!

One somewhat painful experience occurred when I rode my bike to the river to read and cool off.  When I arrived, there were two young men fishing with their music blaring.  I sat down a few feet away from them, and at no point was there any acknowledgement from them that I was even there.  There was no looking over, no saying hello and no attempt to tone down the music.  They also were using foul language almost continuously.  It became clear to me that I was invisible.  If I had been young and beautiful, it would have been a totally different outcome.  So at that moment, it was crystal clear to me that I was no longer what humans consider "young".  It was an eye opening experience for me which caused a few tears.

While spending time with Melody this summer, she was gently and lovingly touching my arms and commented that I had "old lady" skin.  Kids can tell you stuff like that, and it's okay.  It's a good feeling to begin to accept who you are and what stage of life you are in.  We are only young for a short time, and trying to pretend we are young is not a good scenario.  

There is a certain freedom in accepting your age and just being thankful that you are alive, healthy and loved.  It's great being a grandmother and seeing the look of delight spread over the faces of your grandchildren when you arrive for a visit.  It's great watching your children reach goals, be good parents and above all, be kind people.  It's good to look back on all the moments of your life and be able to say that even though you made some mistakes, overall you have been a good person.  

One of the fun things I did for my birthday was bowling with Tahnee, Ethan and Aubree.  A couple weeks ago Melody drew a portrait of me which I think is beautiful and ageless.

Thought for the day:  As we grow older, the beauty steals inward.  Ralph Waldo Emerson

Summer, Where Art Thou?

Yes, been a long time again since I have made the time to sit and get some blogging done.  In the meantime, summer has gone away, and now we are plodding through October on that slippery slope to winter once again.
It was a fun and busy summer so I guess that gives me some kind of excuse for not writing.
Here are a few things that happened:

 Brian and I took a bike ride along the Red Cedar trail and stopped to refresh ourselves in the river.

Spent the weekend at a cabin near Pelican Rapids MN with my family.  The grandkids sure liked that sweet corn!

Aubree spent her first week away from home at our house.  She was here for a week.  We had a good time, and ice cream was abundant!  The ride back home was long and hot, but we made it.  We read Cat in the Hat a few times and watched the cartoon so this is how we greeted Mom and Ethan.

I made a few batches of spaghetti sauce and tomato soup and built a fence.

I got to go grocery shopping with Aria and spend time with her at the water park.  We also celebrated her 2nd birthday and spent time at Lacey and Jonathan's pool.  As you can see in the photo, Ethan was all set to go swimming.

So that sums up the summer of 2014 and now life rushes onward as we approach 2015.  I do wish it would slow down a bit, but chances are that is not going to happen!

Thought for the day:  Summer’s lease hath all too short a date.” ― William Shakespeare

My Melody

With school out for the year, I was blessed with a visit from Melody.  There are special things we do when she visits such as playing Go Fish, hiding the trolls, watching movies, visiting the Dollar Store and going to the library.
Generally, she hides the trolls and asks Brian to find them.  She also helped me set up my fairy garden and hid the fairy for Brian to find.  She had to go home before he got home from work so he had to find the trolls and fairy without her.

We had a wonderful time together.  She can now ride her bike without training wheels so we rode to the park and library.  It's fun to watch her pick out books as she puts much thought into it.  She acquires a stack and then goes through them again before deciding which ones are coming home with us.  She always asks me who my favorite grandchild is.  I love them all so that's a tough one.  I told her that she is special because she was my first.

Our only downfall was when it was time to practice her piano.  It was the last week of lessons for the year, and she was given instructions to practice and not be dramatic about it.  Well, she sat down at the piano with good intentions but soon the drama began.  She wanted me to help, but I didn't do it quite right and then she felt like I was too annoyed.  So she asked me to leave the room.  I heard her play and then suddenly it stopped.  When I went to check on things, she was curled up on the floor crying.  She told me she hated piano and wanted to quit and that she was no good at it.  So we discussed that, and she tried again to no avail. She gave me a note that said "Baba, you need to hate me."   Finally she went upstairs and packed her stuff and planned to go home.  I took her on my lap and told her that some times we have to do things in life we don't want to do.  By this time we were both crying because I realized she was well on her way to finding out life can be cruel.  I wanted to keep her my little grandchild.  We got through it and all was well again.  However, I didn't ask her to practice the next day because I just didn't have it in me.  I will leave that to the parents.


I love having Melody come visit and hope she doesn't grow up so quickly that she doesn't want to come any longer.  Baba loves her so much.

Thought for the day:  A child can ask questions that a wise man cannot answer.  Unknown