This May marked my 55th year in this battle called life. When I was a teenager, I couldn't conceive of being thirty. Now if I see some one has passed away at eighty, I think it was too soon. Our concepts most definitely change about age.
This summer while wearing shorts, tank tops and going barefoot, I began to notice that my legs and feet were starting to remind me of my dad. The skin seems to be thinning, and there are the same small white spots he had on the top of his feet. I am also reminded of my aunts Phyllis and Elna when I see my bunions increasing in size. The skin on my arms is beginning to look like the ladies from church that played a huge part in my formative years. Below is a card my niece sent me for my birthday. Notice the arms but don't ignore the joy!
One somewhat painful experience occurred when I rode my bike to the river to read and cool off. When I arrived, there were two young men fishing with their music blaring. I sat down a few feet away from them, and at no point was there any acknowledgement from them that I was even there. There was no looking over, no saying hello and no attempt to tone down the music. They also were using foul language almost continuously. It became clear to me that I was invisible. If I had been young and beautiful, it would have been a totally different outcome. So at that moment, it was crystal clear to me that I was no longer what humans consider "young". It was an eye opening experience for me which caused a few tears.
While spending time with Melody this summer, she was gently and lovingly touching my arms and commented that I had "old lady" skin. Kids can tell you stuff like that, and it's okay. It's a good feeling to begin to accept who you are and what stage of life you are in. We are only young for a short time, and trying to pretend we are young is not a good scenario.
There is a certain freedom in accepting your age and just being thankful that you are alive, healthy and loved. It's great being a grandmother and seeing the look of delight spread over the faces of your grandchildren when you arrive for a visit. It's great watching your children reach goals, be good parents and above all, be kind people. It's good to look back on all the moments of your life and be able to say that even though you made some mistakes, overall you have been a good person.
One of the fun things I did for my birthday was bowling with Tahnee, Ethan and Aubree. A couple weeks ago Melody drew a portrait of me which I think is beautiful and ageless.
Thought for the day: As we grow older, the beauty steals inward. Ralph Waldo Emerson
